Her Father's Homestead

I haven’t written about Sparkles in a while, but I got a good-sized dose of them today.  In with the beauty was a lesson and that is another Sparkle in and of itself.  What is this about anyway?  To keep y’all in suspense (ancient literary secret) we’ll talk about the lesson first.  Let’s begin with a question.  Is okay really okay or is it just acceptable and maybe not okay at all?  Don’t you love words?

I had an experience at the end of last week that several people told me was okay.  Obviously I wasn’t feeling that way or folks wouldn’t have felt the need to tell me it was.  Regular readers will know that I don’t believe in dwelling in the negative – word or thought.  So I had my experience, was disappointed, expressed it to three people close to me and received that okay response.   I processed those responses, my own reaction, chalked it up to did-my-best and moved on.  Healthy, right?

Today, it was brought back to me in a most Sparkly way!  An unanticipated action  far beyond my control and the picture was altered.  I felt amazingly different.  Why?  Had I changed?  Was I a better person?  Not at all and a lesson I love to share looked me right in the eye.   I was good enough before this Sparkle occurred; I was just as worthy and valuable last week as I am today.  Why?  Because, my friends, my worth and my value is not about what I do, it’s about who and what I am.

Nothing like having your attitude adjusted with your own words, like a cosmic kick in the behind, though I’m not as into the cosmic thing as I am the belief that my Heavenly Father makes use of every teachable moment.  That was my Sparkle for the day – another reminder that we have value because we have it; it is unconditional and not tied to any achievement.  What a gift!  I’m accepting it and thanking my Father for His blessings and His lessons.

Oh yeah, the disappointment, the okay thing?  I got a B instead of an A on a tough class just completed.  The Sparkle?  Found out today that the professor rounded up, if you will, and gave me the A after all.   And B was okay, but bottom line, in all honesty, I’m lovin’ the A.  In my secret heart, A is still better, but I’m a work in progress and will absolutely get this value and worth issue more deeply embedded in my heart and soul as I grow.

My prayer is that you, too, will have a deeper sense of your worth and your value and if you want some encouragement, come on along – it is a worthy journey.

Don’t you love choices??  Today, after a really tough week, is turning out beautifully and it’s not yet noon.  Today is my Meghan Lee’s 25th birthday.  We spoke early, I waited for her call – I’m learning, didn’t want to wake her too early on her birthday.  I sang to her, not the traditional melody, but the Beatle’s rendition favored by my sis, Joanne.  I cannot hear that song without thinking of Jo, nor can my daughters.  Meghan and I shared a laugh and she went off to work.  I went to the Internet, knowing I’d find the song out there somewhere.   Here it is, shared with you – crank it up and sing along!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztoSUhbNntQ Wasn’t that fun?

About those choices – having completed the research papers, I’ve got another song in mind, my next choice.  Enjoy this one, too, and picture me singing along with Daltrey and the London Symphony Orchestra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4zufwCudU0&feature=related

Do you get that I’m having a ball, all by myself, sun shining in every window, my newly seeded indoor garden sprouting in the southern exposure?  Life is good and I am so blessed; thank you, Lord, for this marvelous day!!

On to the next item, two finals by Friday as this term ends.  After those papers, let me tell you, two finals, while not exactly a walk in the park, will be almost a walk in the park.  So here we go – enjoy the day, celebrate the victories and tell the people  you love that you love them and sing and dance in the sunshine – that’s what I’ll be doing!  Au revoir and the happiest of birthdays to my precious Meghan Lee!!

Not everybody would get this, but if you’re a mom, I’m fairly certain you will.  Everybody knows my Meghan Lee was here for eight days.  She’s gone, four days already.  It’s harder than I’d have believed.  I should be used to it; my daughters live on opposite coasts, I’m in the middle and this is a pretty big country.  I’m proud of them, proud that they have the skills and the confidence to head out into the world, to follow their dreams, to create interesting and rewarding lives. But the “missing” doesn’t go away just because I understand how things are.

Being a mom, I have ways     This one is simple.  Before her visit, I’d prepared her room, had help, even, from my cousin, Susan.  The bedding was washed and hung on the line to dry – the way Meghan likes it.  Now that she’s back in her own home, I’m not doing the typical post-guest clean-up.  Im not pulling her bed apart and washing all the linen.  It’s staying just as it is and when I’m in need of a Meghan fix, I’ll lie down on her bed and bury my face in her pillow.  Heck, I may throw back the comforter and crawl right in.

That’s the part that moms will understand.  Being me, I won’t dwell on the “missing” piece.  I spent part of this morning organizing and editing the 62 best photos of our days together, posted a couple on Facebook, started a new album.  Had a couple e-mail conversations with Meghan, sent her two favorite photos.  In true Meghan fashion, she sent me back a humorous list she’s creating for work.

Life goes on.  There’s school, work, acres of lawn that should be mowed ahead of tomorrow’s predicted rain.  A 10-page paper on a book I’ve yet to finish is due in four days and there’s a test to take before Sunday.  A family birthday celebration is on the calendar yet this week and a fundraiser dinner, which is just going to have to be axed.   The French have a saying, Tu connaît la musique.  Literally translates to: You know the music; used conversationally, it’s you know the deal, the routine, and that’s what keeps us all moving despite how we may feel at any given moment.

I do, indeed, know the music – I’m savoring the memories, making a collage, organizing the photos, cherishing the time and tucking it away into this mother’s heart.  And that, my friends, is a mom thing.    Enjoy the photo and smile with me.

A mom and a daughter

Last year about this time, a little later actually, I wrote about doing battle with algebra.  This summer I had a great time with my counseling class and am finishing an interesting time with philosophy.  Note: ” interesting” is LeeAnn-speak for I’m not going to tell you what I really think. Here’s a hint:  in one of the papers I wrote in PHIL so far, I compared it to having conversations with a precocious two year-old.  “Mom, why is …?”  “Well, Daughter, because …,”  “Why, mom?”  “It’s about …”  “Are you sure, Mom?”  “I believe so,” ” But do you know, Mom?”  “I’m thinking so,”  “But mom, how can you be sure?”  And on and on to infinity it seems.  So goes philosophy.

Don’t get me wrong – I love all the words – isms and ologies and arguments and proofs, however, there comes a point of absurdity, at least to me, no offense to my professor.  He didn’t begin the whole philosophy thing, we can thank Aristotle, Plato and Socrates for that.  And it’s been interesting, a lot of it, in the true sense of the word.  I believe I’ve learned a fair amount, discovered a new (to me) author engaged in Christian apologetics and resurrected an old friend, yes, books to me are friends and this goes back 35 years.  Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance – used as a textbook for my first philosophy class many years ago.  It became a favorite, perfect for summer reading and reflection.  And for many years, I read two books every summer – Zen… and Gone With the Wind.  I pulled Zen off the shelf this year – turns out it was the book that influenced my professor toward philosophy.  And the book is by my bedside, to be finished with pleasure after I finish this class.

And what has me furiously treading – reminiscent of the days of trying to pass a lifesaving course, treading water as best as I could to keep my chin above so I’d pass? Completing this class well in the next four days.  That entails finishing a paper worth 20% of the grade and passing a final exam.  I’m aiming for more than just passing; I’m pretty used to As with an occasional B, but this has been a challenge.

So now is the time for me to get back to work – write, write, write, and study, study, study.  You’ll hear from me again, but not till next week when this class is history!!  By then I’ll have started two new ones, the fall semester with two more counseling classes in the first term and two in the second.  Back in familiar and very enjoyable territory.   And back to being a philosopher for me right now

It’s been quite a week, filled with the usual ups and downs common to women everywhere – highlights and low-lights and life does go on.  Because I’m me, let’s start with a big highlight.  My favorite Auntie Arlene, mentioned often in this blog, had a birthday, 92, to be specific.  Below you see two photos of us, one taken 53 or so years ago here at the Homestead and one taken three days ago on her birthday.

Auntie Arlene and me circa 1957

92nd birthday lunch 7.22.10

We go way back and as I told her yesterday, I treasure our time together. That would be a definite highlight of the last week!

There are more -  a fun cousin’s lunch – hours spent together looking at photos, sharing stories. memories and laughs.  That would be a highlight.

Then there are low-lights: a dear friend receives a cancer diagnosis, another loses her mother, disappointing behavior from someone close to me, rain with what feels like no end.  Altogether a typical week, I guess. We give thanks for the good and take the concerns to the One in control.

On this summer morning of reflection, I’m thanking the Lord for family and friends and casting all care onto Him.   Have a beautiful day!!

You gotta love philosophy – full of questions, wonder and oh, so many words!!  My old friend Marlee called me early this morning- time for a catch-up. On our respective phones in front of our respective monitors, we visited the Homestead Website and poked through some old blog posts.  From there to the business of daily life – what’s new with each of us since we were together last to celebrate birthdays, which led to how school is going, which led to words and studies we’ve done together in the past.  And that is how I arrived at this title.  Worldviews, yep, that’s what I’m studying now and how fun it is!!

Ever thought about it?  Summer’s good for that – reflection – and that’s where I am today, reflecting on worldviews, how they’re formed, what they mean, who cares, anyway?  I do, thank you very much.  It was Socrates who said, “an unexamined life is not worth living,”  Interesting that he said that while on trial for his very life, for being a philosopher.  The first paper in this philosophy class was did I or did I not agree with the statement and why.

I did, wrote the paper, got max points – I so love to write.  So it’s summer, time for reflection and trying to catch up on reading.  In the theme of worldviews, an old favorite read is Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and I pulled it off the shelf again – old books are like old friends. So ponder a bit on your worldview – perhaps examine your life on this journey to wellness and wholeness and no surprise to regular readers, my worldview is definitely Christian and my belief is that it’s the way to wholeness and wellness.

Agree or disagree, I’d be interested in feedback – food for thought and reflection.  Thanks for visiting…

Yes, indeed, I’m one fortunate woman, sharing my story and my joy with y’all today.  Four years ago right about now, a neurosurgeon and his team took a buzz saw to my skull and then a scalpel to my brain.  Later he visited me in the night and delivered the news that the tumor they removed was malignant and I had a fairly serious form of brain cancer.  Waiting daughters, family and friends had already been given information and the stats were not great; but the clinical world leaves out a huge piece and that piece is a fairly major game-changer. My Father had plans and as He says in His Book, (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)  “I know the plans I have for you … plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Those plans included handling this tumor and four years later, I surely do have hope and a future and I’m on a mission to share the blessings and the joy!  I am well, most content and because I can, I’m heading out into the sunshine on this beautiful Sunday in April, 2010.

Bénédictions

This is a wonderful place to be.  Wrapped in warmth and not from a furnace – the gentle warmth of sunshine, surrounded by blue skies and soft breezes.  The birds are singing all around me; made it hard to hear the You-Tube video I’m thinking of putting on this post – bluegrass -  not my usual.  We’ll see.  The old “When in Rome…“ And the smells – more like early summer, plowed fields, blooming plant life.  And green hills all around me! This is absolutely delightful and that’s not a word I commonly use.

This time of year lends so much hope and that’s a theme of mine.  There is ALWAYS hope.  Miss Sarah, the neighbor, just came over to get introduced, very much the Southern lady.  I also met Miss Darlene, who joined us for dinner on my brother’s birthday and brought a gift for ME!  I love the manners, the graciousness and the hospitality.  Traditions that are carried from generation to generation and make life so much more pleasant for everyone.

And about that hope.  It makes so much difference to look at the world and one’s circumstances through hopeful eyes.  Yes, things get turned upside down, people face challenges of many kinds, but this is the world and the life we have.  We can whine our way through it or we can dance.  And let me say, as one who’s been down, dancing is a lot better way to get through a challenge!  As long as  you can get on your feet, there’s a dance on the other side just waiting for you.   Blessings!

Do not be dismayed, this post will give you hope and encouragement,  I promise As often mentioned in these pages, I’m a traditionalist;  I believe tradition is the glue that binds us together.  Today I’ll tell a quick story about a mother who used to buy the best solid chocolate Easter bunnies for her girls, year after year.  Tradition was that early Easter morning, the mother would hide the colored eggs and then the baskets.  While the girls were hunting for eggs and baskets, the mother was cooking a special breakfast, one for each of her daughters as they had different favorites.

This particular year, the night before Easter as the mother was preparing the baskets, the temptation of those fabulous bunnies overcame her.  Just one little nibble, the mother thought, who’ll notice?  Y’all know how this goes – the edges had to be evened out and smooth, so one nibble followed another and all of a sudden one ear was gone – Horror!  What could the mother do?  She had to do the same to the other bunny; it would never work to give one daughter an intact bunny and the other, one with a missing ear.  On with the “evening-up” process.  Now two bunnies without ears, very uneven, more work to do.  Before the mother knew it, the ears were gone – all four of them.

Holy cats, what now?  May as well even things up, you know, neaten it up a bit.  One head gone, on to the next – gotta be fair.   Enough already.  So the mother tucked each bunny back into its little bag and tied them shut with the original ribbons, pink and purple.  It’s Saturday night, Easter eve, no replacing these special bunnies.  Early Easter morning, the mother went about her business, then woke the daughters to begin their hunt, while the mother went into the kitchen to begin cooking those special breakfasts, didn’t miss a beat….

All of a sudden – horrified screams.  The girls had discovered their headless bunnies in their otherwise beautiful baskets.  And they had no doubt as to the culprit.  Good thing they were of the age to know that the Easter Bunny really was the mother.  To use FDR’s words spoken years ago, this was a day that ” will live in infamy.”  And it has; brought up every Easter and shared with love and much laughter.

I promised encouragement?  You bet.  My friends, regardless what you may be thinking about your shortcomings, faults or misses, remember the mother who ate the heads off the bunnies and laugh!  You haven’t done that yet, have you?  There is HOPE and there is GRACE.  My daughters love me, forgave me and we share another precious memory.

The thing that I remember most clearly was Meghan’s absolute indignation that there were teeth marks in her bunny – eeeuuuu!!

I’m off tomorrow for a week in Kentucky with a beloved brother and his family.  I’ve got about 30 hours to finish my travel prep so it’s time to close.

Remember, there’s abundant hope and grace for all of us.  I hope you’ve found yours in our risen Lord.  Easter blessings!!!

As my dad says, “There you have it,”   My title for the day – a statement I heard from an unnamed source.  I just love it; in fact, it gets better.  The speaker went on to say it was a  “feature” strategically placed to help the listeners learn a lesson. I cannot wait to actually say that to someone and see the expression.  Hope I can do it without laughing Don’t you just love words?? I’ve got to take a break and find some music to go with this one; I’ll be back…

Kind of a futile effort so because it’s Friday and I’m feeling the challenge, I mean, feature, of daytime sleepiness with no time for a nap, we’re going to fall back on one of my all-time favorite pick-me-ups, a rousing rendition of Tom Petty’s, I Won’t Back Down. It kind of fits the theme of the day, don’t you think?  So moving forward, here it is.  Sing it with me and let it stand you up.  Nothing like a little feature to brighten your day:)