Her Father's Homestead

My ErinLee, elder daughter by 363 days turned 26 today!  I texted her at 12:05 a.m., PDT, her time, which, and yes, I was up, was 2:05 a.m., here in Wisconsin.  I was working and reminiscing about the birth of my first child, 26 years ago.  She was so tiny, just 5lb, 13 oz, at birth and  5 lb, 8 oz, when we left the hospital. It was absolutely love beyond compare.  Who knew?  Y’all who are mothers reading this would know, but I was rocked by the depth of emotion.

I knew she was going to be Erin Lee – she changed the spelling and I like it, but I knew way before she was born.  In fact, I embroidered her name in gold floss on the Christmas stocking I started in the summer.  I also sewed her first Christmas dress, red velvet and white satin, again, before she was born and those were the days before we had whatever the test is that tells the baby’s sex, unless you had a difficult pregnancy, which I did not.  My doctor kept telling me there was a 50/50 chance and you should have seen his face when I showed him her Christmas stocking.  I knew.

She’s a joy, talented, funny, beautiful and I’ve always been amazed at how she sees the world, through artist’s eyes, so unlike myself.  I began this post hours ago, thinking about my child,  took a break for  a special lunch with my 11 yr-old niece, Reno; we called ErinLee.  Then ErinLee called me and we had a wonderful hour-long visit; now I’m back to choosing some photos to insert here along with the birthday song.  So my darlin’ daughter, and yes, she does speak French, réalisez vos rêves.

Quintessential ErinLee playing in the leaves!

ErinLee and MummaLee at Bagley Rapids 10.09

City Kid ErinLee at the Museum of Natural History in Chicago '09

Joyeux anniversaire!!!         Je t’aime, votre, maman!

Don’t you love choices??  Today, after a really tough week, is turning out beautifully and it’s not yet noon.  Today is my Meghan Lee’s 25th birthday.  We spoke early, I waited for her call – I’m learning, didn’t want to wake her too early on her birthday.  I sang to her, not the traditional melody, but the Beatle’s rendition favored by my sis, Joanne.  I cannot hear that song without thinking of Jo, nor can my daughters.  Meghan and I shared a laugh and she went off to work.  I went to the Internet, knowing I’d find the song out there somewhere.   Here it is, shared with you – crank it up and sing along!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztoSUhbNntQ Wasn’t that fun?

About those choices – having completed the research papers, I’ve got another song in mind, my next choice.  Enjoy this one, too, and picture me singing along with Daltrey and the London Symphony Orchestra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4zufwCudU0&feature=related

Do you get that I’m having a ball, all by myself, sun shining in every window, my newly seeded indoor garden sprouting in the southern exposure?  Life is good and I am so blessed; thank you, Lord, for this marvelous day!!

On to the next item, two finals by Friday as this term ends.  After those papers, let me tell you, two finals, while not exactly a walk in the park, will be almost a walk in the park.  So here we go – enjoy the day, celebrate the victories and tell the people  you love that you love them and sing and dance in the sunshine – that’s what I’ll be doing!  Au revoir and the happiest of birthdays to my precious Meghan Lee!!

I just wrote a special letter, a letter to my younger daughter, Meghan Lee.  I didn’t really have time for this today as I’m under the proverbial gun to finish major school work in time to join a group of friends tomorrow.  We’ll see….

The letter had to be written and will be taken to the post office in the next couple hours – has to be today and has to be from the Post Office.  What’s so special?  My girls have birthdays next week, Meghan first and she is 25 on Monday, a postal holiday.  So the letter’s written and ready to go.  Being a writer, as is Meghan, it was important to put my feelings on paper for her. At some point I may post it here, but not without her permission, so maybe next week.  Anyway, back to the research papers. Then it’ll be on to ErinLee, birthday girl on Wednesday – 26 this year and that’s planned as my next blog post.

For today, Joyeux Anniversaire, Meghan Lee, you’re one of the reasons I write!

Not everybody would get this, but if you’re a mom, I’m fairly certain you will.  Everybody knows my Meghan Lee was here for eight days.  She’s gone, four days already.  It’s harder than I’d have believed.  I should be used to it; my daughters live on opposite coasts, I’m in the middle and this is a pretty big country.  I’m proud of them, proud that they have the skills and the confidence to head out into the world, to follow their dreams, to create interesting and rewarding lives. But the “missing” doesn’t go away just because I understand how things are.

Being a mom, I have ways     This one is simple.  Before her visit, I’d prepared her room, had help, even, from my cousin, Susan.  The bedding was washed and hung on the line to dry – the way Meghan likes it.  Now that she’s back in her own home, I’m not doing the typical post-guest clean-up.  Im not pulling her bed apart and washing all the linen.  It’s staying just as it is and when I’m in need of a Meghan fix, I’ll lie down on her bed and bury my face in her pillow.  Heck, I may throw back the comforter and crawl right in.

That’s the part that moms will understand.  Being me, I won’t dwell on the “missing” piece.  I spent part of this morning organizing and editing the 62 best photos of our days together, posted a couple on Facebook, started a new album.  Had a couple e-mail conversations with Meghan, sent her two favorite photos.  In true Meghan fashion, she sent me back a humorous list she’s creating for work.

Life goes on.  There’s school, work, acres of lawn that should be mowed ahead of tomorrow’s predicted rain.  A 10-page paper on a book I’ve yet to finish is due in four days and there’s a test to take before Sunday.  A family birthday celebration is on the calendar yet this week and a fundraiser dinner, which is just going to have to be axed.   The French have a saying, Tu connaît la musique.  Literally translates to: You know the music; used conversationally, it’s you know the deal, the routine, and that’s what keeps us all moving despite how we may feel at any given moment.

I do, indeed, know the music – I’m savoring the memories, making a collage, organizing the photos, cherishing the time and tucking it away into this mother’s heart.  And that, my friends, is a mom thing.    Enjoy the photo and smile with me.

A mom and a daughter

Just six hours now and I’ll be at the GB airport, waiting for my beloved Meghan to walk through the door!!  We’ve been counting down together, sending little texts each day with the tally and now it’s here.  I’ve been working hard to be ready – not that she is demanding or critical.  It’s me, Mother, as she’s always called me, wanting everything to be just the way I know she likes it.  All her bedding was washed and line dried, so will have that wonderful fresh scent.  Her room has been cleaned – dusted and vacuumed top to bottom, thanks to my cousin, Susan, who lent a hand and a couple hours on Labor Day!!  We have plans for a special luncheon on Saturday with our favorite Auntie Arlene and close cousins.  Hotel and dinner reservations made in Chicago for one night – two days in one of our favorite cities – Michigan Avenue here we come!!  Dinner and a night spent with Meghan’s  Auntie Mumma, a story there, too   And that’s just for starters.  We will have a TIME, let me tell you!

It’s been too long since we were together, but you can bet that I’m not dwelling there and am most thankful for for the time ahead of us.  Counting my blessings sitting here in the sunshine, taking a break from my homework and pretty soon I’ll be counting the minutes and there you have it!!   Bénédictions … and don’t be surprised if you don’t hear from me during the next eight days!!

It’s been quite a week, filled with the usual ups and downs common to women everywhere – highlights and low-lights and life does go on.  Because I’m me, let’s start with a big highlight.  My favorite Auntie Arlene, mentioned often in this blog, had a birthday, 92, to be specific.  Below you see two photos of us, one taken 53 or so years ago here at the Homestead and one taken three days ago on her birthday.

Auntie Arlene and me circa 1957

92nd birthday lunch 7.22.10

We go way back and as I told her yesterday, I treasure our time together. That would be a definite highlight of the last week!

There are more -  a fun cousin’s lunch – hours spent together looking at photos, sharing stories. memories and laughs.  That would be a highlight.

Then there are low-lights: a dear friend receives a cancer diagnosis, another loses her mother, disappointing behavior from someone close to me, rain with what feels like no end.  Altogether a typical week, I guess. We give thanks for the good and take the concerns to the One in control.

On this summer morning of reflection, I’m thanking the Lord for family and friends and casting all care onto Him.   Have a beautiful day!!

You gotta love philosophy – full of questions, wonder and oh, so many words!!  My old friend Marlee called me early this morning- time for a catch-up. On our respective phones in front of our respective monitors, we visited the Homestead Website and poked through some old blog posts.  From there to the business of daily life – what’s new with each of us since we were together last to celebrate birthdays, which led to how school is going, which led to words and studies we’ve done together in the past.  And that is how I arrived at this title.  Worldviews, yep, that’s what I’m studying now and how fun it is!!

Ever thought about it?  Summer’s good for that – reflection – and that’s where I am today, reflecting on worldviews, how they’re formed, what they mean, who cares, anyway?  I do, thank you very much.  It was Socrates who said, “an unexamined life is not worth living,”  Interesting that he said that while on trial for his very life, for being a philosopher.  The first paper in this philosophy class was did I or did I not agree with the statement and why.

I did, wrote the paper, got max points – I so love to write.  So it’s summer, time for reflection and trying to catch up on reading.  In the theme of worldviews, an old favorite read is Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and I pulled it off the shelf again – old books are like old friends. So ponder a bit on your worldview – perhaps examine your life on this journey to wellness and wholeness and no surprise to regular readers, my worldview is definitely Christian and my belief is that it’s the way to wholeness and wellness.

Agree or disagree, I’d be interested in feedback – food for thought and reflection.  Thanks for visiting…

Yes, indeed, I’m one fortunate woman, sharing my story and my joy with y’all today.  Four years ago right about now, a neurosurgeon and his team took a buzz saw to my skull and then a scalpel to my brain.  Later he visited me in the night and delivered the news that the tumor they removed was malignant and I had a fairly serious form of brain cancer.  Waiting daughters, family and friends had already been given information and the stats were not great; but the clinical world leaves out a huge piece and that piece is a fairly major game-changer. My Father had plans and as He says in His Book, (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)  “I know the plans I have for you … plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Those plans included handling this tumor and four years later, I surely do have hope and a future and I’m on a mission to share the blessings and the joy!  I am well, most content and because I can, I’m heading out into the sunshine on this beautiful Sunday in April, 2010.

Bénédictions

This is a wonderful place to be.  Wrapped in warmth and not from a furnace – the gentle warmth of sunshine, surrounded by blue skies and soft breezes.  The birds are singing all around me; made it hard to hear the You-Tube video I’m thinking of putting on this post – bluegrass -  not my usual.  We’ll see.  The old “When in Rome…“ And the smells – more like early summer, plowed fields, blooming plant life.  And green hills all around me! This is absolutely delightful and that’s not a word I commonly use.

This time of year lends so much hope and that’s a theme of mine.  There is ALWAYS hope.  Miss Sarah, the neighbor, just came over to get introduced, very much the Southern lady.  I also met Miss Darlene, who joined us for dinner on my brother’s birthday and brought a gift for ME!  I love the manners, the graciousness and the hospitality.  Traditions that are carried from generation to generation and make life so much more pleasant for everyone.

And about that hope.  It makes so much difference to look at the world and one’s circumstances through hopeful eyes.  Yes, things get turned upside down, people face challenges of many kinds, but this is the world and the life we have.  We can whine our way through it or we can dance.  And let me say, as one who’s been down, dancing is a lot better way to get through a challenge!  As long as  you can get on your feet, there’s a dance on the other side just waiting for you.   Blessings!