Her Father’s Homestead

Surely some of you know the rest of that aphorism.  Because of my belief in the power of words, often stated here - words matter - I won’t be finishing the statement;  in fact today we’ll  do a test run on a new ending, give it a new spin. And I do love spin

So if I say No Good Deed Goes Unrewarded, what do you think?    The question becomes unrewarded by whom. It doesn’t matter. Since I operate under the belief system that says you don’t work your way to your final resting place, the reward for a good deed is internal.  You saw something, you addressed it, and you know in your heart that you did a good thing.

The person or persons for whom you did this good thing may or may not even realize it.  Doesn’t matter. Let me clarify, it doesn’t matter on an outward level.  Here we go again, semantics.  You bet, I love it So where does it matter? Inside, inside you and that’s what counts in this discussion.

Every time you take the opportunity to  do a “good deed” however small, it matters in you.  Note I say IN you, not to you.  We grow every time we take an opportunity to make a difference, something as small as smiling at the elderly man for whom you hold the door, every time you offer an encouraging word or turn aside an angry retort.  It matters IN you and that’s why I’m pretty comfortable saying that No Good Deed Goes Unrewarded.

The reward is the growth that comes inside because you stepped out and did it.  That’s what matters.  Keep doing it and you will keep doing it.  It’s a mindset, a way of looking at the world, a philosophy, if you will. Go on out and have a fabulous day and when you have the chance (not IF, WHEN) take it.  Look for these opportunities - they’re everywhere.  Here’s to growing as we go …..

À plus tard

How’s that for just another Sunday afternoon on the farm?  All I was trying to do was get a head-start on the trimester of school that begins tomorrow.  Way too simple a plan for the day apparently.  The mouse was and still is more unpleasant than the cows - smaller, but more intimidating.  Who wants to deal with that?

So I do what I always do in times of distress on the farm  - call my Cousin Dan.  And to the rescue, as always, Dan appears.  We baited a mousetrap and placed it strategically - actually Dan did the placing, I applied  peanut butter, crunchy, all natural, by the way, to entice the intruder to its demise.    Now I have to stay away so the intruder takes the bait.  That’s what Dan said when I asked about getting the soon-to-be-deceased out of the house.  I’m supposed to stay away until tomorrow;  stay out of my piano studio and pretend I’m not waiting to hear a !SNAP! for the rest of the afternoon and evening.

The cows?  We’ve had this before, even posted about it before.  A call to the neighbor got them here to corral their animals, not before there were some in the road, which drew spectators, some fearful to keep driving, and two local sheriff’s deputies in squad cars.  Thankfully no lights and sirens - could have caused a stampede

Isn’t that the way things go?  Your plans get turned upside down by a rodent and some bovine escapees.  I’m sure there’s a lesson here - haven’t figured it out yet.  I’m thinking there has to be some appropriate music as well, but I cannot imagine what, besides Old MacDonald or Hickory Dickory Dock and that won’t do.  So I’m off to salvage what’s left of the day and perhaps to ponder that potential lesson I mentioned.  If anyone has an idea, you know how to reach me through this site.  Bénédictions …

How do we even begin to comprehend the scope of what has occurred? Comfortable here in the US, yet watching the nightmare happening in Haiti, what do you do?  How do we help?  It’s heartening to hear of all the good still in people’s hearts, as folks from around the world pull together in a time of human need.  Disheartening to hear of the scams already in operation to defraud well-meaning people.  As usual in times of crisis, we see the wide range of human behavior, from very good to very awful.

How do you share hope with others in the midst of such devastation?  It seems trite to quote the platitudes that get spoken at times like this.  How would you react if it were your loved ones far away in the midst of great trouble?  What’s your security? To what do you cling?  We’ve talked about this before.

I won’t presume to lecture or instruct today.  I’d just encourage you to look inside and clarify the source of your strength.  As many of us have discovered, personal tragedy can be right around the corner.  We have no idea what’s coming our way, but life means that something is coming our way; personally or on a large scale, we don’t know that either.  I urge preparation, know what matters and  what doesn’t.  And while you’re at it, reach out to family and friends and let them know that they’re loved.  Mend the fences, forgive past hurts.

Go to sleep tonight with a prayer of thanks for all you have and breathe a prayer for comfort for the many who have less. Blessings ….

An uneventful flight; actually, travel was very good.  This Delta/Northwest merger has resulted in a very classy airline.  The service was excellent, personnel very professional, very helpful. Compared to some of the service we’ve experienced in the last year, this rates very well!

A year ago on Dec. 23, I was sitting at O’Hare, full of folks who’d been stranded for up to two days by Midwest weather on a busy holiday.  This year I changed two things:   I’m traveling earlier, December 20th instead of the 23rd and I avoided Chicago.  The plane change in Detroit was a walk in the park and we arrived in Columbia EARLY!  That’s a nice change of pace for air travel.

I’m comfy at the Barnes & Noble where Meghan works part-time, a stack of cookbooks on Southern cooking at my side.  This is about as good as it gets, my child within reach, bright blue skies, people wearing light jackets as opposed to the four layers I had on when arriving.  The only thing better would be having my ErinLee here as well, but I’m thankful for what I’ve got.

We’ve been to Meghan’s house, so I’ve finally seen her new home.  I teased her that not only is she a homeowner, she has landscaping, something called monkey grass, ivy and a flowering plant I’ll have to investigate.  We’ve already identified a couple projects to do together and I offered to put her new rake to good use when she’s at work.  I’ll need the exercise as we’ve already eaten well and are planning our next meal

It doesn’t look like Christmas outside, but there’s Christmas music in the air and decorations all around.  While it’s weird not to have snow, this is pretty awesome.

So it’s almost Christmas.  I hope you’re all where you want to be, with those you love and who love you.  I’ll be back in a bit.

My last post of 2009 from my home.  In 12 hours I’ll be arriving in Green Bay to catch a bit of sleep before flying out  at 6:30 a.m.  And in 28 hours I will be hugging my beloved Meghan and seeing her new home for the first time.  Am I excited?  You have no idea!!!  As my cousin Jane reminded me, this will give me the energy I need to get everything done.

So what’s the TA DA for?  I have completed another term in school.  I have done battle with algebra and am still standing.  More logical than ever?  I’m too tired to say right now, but I’ve done it, it’s history.  Will I dance around my kitchen as mentioned in a post back in August?  Very likely as I’ve got to keep moving through this day, checking off the list.    Sounds like time for a song, one that contains two of my all-time favorite song lines - check it out and sing with me.

Quickly, what are the two lines?   “Just remember this my girl, if you look up in the sky you can  see the stars and still not see the light.”  Amen to that.  The other is, “So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key.”   It’s time for me to get on my feet.

Blessings to you all in these last pre-Christmas days.  And while I’m anxiously awaiting the gift of time with my Meghan, I’m mindful of the reason behind this celebration - the best Gift ever.  Hope you have it in your life.

Merry Christmas, 2009.  Cherish your friends and family; reach out to those in need.  Coming to you next from the warmth of  South Carolina …

Memories…  My girls and I have been talking about memories, fun things, funny sayings.  The title of this post is an example of a line that makes us smile.  I’m known for always being cold, well before any surgeries or health challenges - I’m just cold-blooded.  The girls would say with eyes rolling, “Mom’s cold, we have to put on a sweater.”  That’s a favorite.

The other day I saw a saying about dancing in the rain.  Reminded me of my girls.  In a text to  ErinLee, I shared the line and reminisced about how she loved to play in the rain.  She reminded me of the time she went  into the backyard to play in the rain in her underwear and accidentally locked herself out.  Big smile at that memory

There are so many.  Last year at this time I was posting a Countdown, counting down the days until I was in warmer climes with my Meghan for Christmas.   This year I haven’t been counting down until today, when Meghan reminded me that it’s only five days till we’re together.  Five crazy busy days during which I’ll clean my house - another whole set of memories from my own childhood, carried  into my children’s  lives and  into the present day.  Thanks, Mom -  a story in itself.  I will take two final exams, and as promised back in August, finish the dreaded algebra.  Not to mention laundry, packing, paperwork, banking,  a Merry Christmas hug for my favorite Auntie Arlene before I go, so many things to finish.

It won’t be long now.  Temperature here in the North Woods is heading toward a wind chill of 20 below tonight. So as I get back to the business of finishing a semester and  preparing to be away for a couple weeks, I’m telling you, I’m so cold, y’all get those sweaters on, you hear?

There’s a warning here, with good reason.  Started last night, made for interesting travel home from a Christmas party in a nearby town.  There’s a warning here, blizzard no less, serious weather, dangerous conditions, zero visibility.

There are warnings everywhere, aren’t there?  They don’t all come with flashing lights or that annoying signal used on radio and TV or ribbons scrolling across your television screen or  a yellow light.  But they’re warnings just the same.

How do you react to warnings?  Fear?  Doubt? Skepticism? Do you logically come up with a Plan A and a Plan B as well?

I’m heeding the weather warning for now and am bundling into serious winter gear to head outside.  Thanks to a neighbor, the bulk of the plowing is complete, but wind is wicked and walls of snow are blowing around, changing the landscape.  Anyway, while I’m outside doing clean-up with the snow-thrower, I’ll be finishing this post in my head.  So think about the many warnings we receive in our daily life and how we handle them.  I’m off to the great outdoors.

Some of you know I’m a musician.  That affects how I remember things and how I learn.  No to mention that I’m a child of the 60s and 70s so it should be no surprise to find music throughout these pages.  Today we borrow from Bowie - David the musician, as opposed to Jim, of knife fame.
I’ve been thinking about change a lot these days.  Its been a  subject of discussion in my humanities class, which I’m loving, by the way I had to respond to a statement by my professor as to how people view and  respond to change.

Coupled with the letters I sent my girls for St. Nick’s and the memories that brought up, change has indeed, been on my mind.  As I wrote for my class: change is life and life is change.  Sounds so simple, doesn’t it? Pain-free, stress-free, just like change itself.

Not so?  I look at how my life has changed and how I’ve dealt with it; how my girls have changed - independent young women now, living far away from me and each other, yet remaining close thanks to technology.  Ch-ch-ch-changes.

And while I speak easily about my girls being so far away, much of the time  I do not like it one bit!!!  St. Nick comes tomorrow and I didn’t unpack the Christmas stockings, two years running now.  Those stockings I made - love and anticipation sewn into every stitch.  I didn’t grow up with St. Nick, but my girls discovered him the year ErinLee came home from preschool in tears because St. Nick didn’t like her.  He only skips the children who’ve been bad, she said.   So St. Nick became part of our lives.

Talked to ErinLee moments ago - we laughed about how  very often I got it wrong.  St. Nick came a day early or a day late; for whatever reason I struggled with that one.  When they were of an age to understand, we shared many laughs over St. Nick.  But it was always special because that’s when the stockings came out.  We’ll talk about those another time.

In the meantime, in this  pre-Christmas season, give some thought to the many changes and the many benefits you’ve reaped because of them.  Change isn’t always comfortable, but it often precedes dramatic growth. Ch-ch-ch-changes.                                                    Later…

To many,  those words are the familiar beginning of a common prayer spoken after meals.  Growing up in my house, it was said after every meal taken together.  According to the clock, Thanksgiving Day 2009, is history and I’d like to end my day with a word of reflection.

It was a good day, and like so many, contained ups and downs.  Being the “up” person that I am, I’m thankful for the good things and will deal with the “down” things tomorrow as need be.  There are three more days before the next weekly routine returns and there’s lots to accomplish in those three days so I’m thankful for the time.

I spent the day with loved ones, starting in a worship service attended with a brother, followed by dinner with his family.  I spoke to my other two brothers on the phone as well as a sister-in-law and nephews ,  my folks, a niece and a special aunt, mentioned often in this blog, Auntie Arlene, and of course, my daughters.

Email brought greetings from expected and one unexpected source, and I’m thankful for the technology that allows us to stay in touch across the miles. I spent a few hours on algebra with my trusted study partner, again, thanks to technology we can study together though we live in different parts of the state.

I’m going to lay down and close out the day, uncharacteristically leaving dishes in the sink.  It’s okay and I’m thankful that I have the choice.  There was a day I wouldn’t dream of going to bed with kitchen less than perfect; thankfully I’m more comfortable with myself and my home, knowing I answer only to myself and my Lord.  And I believe He’s smiling as I leave this untidy kitchen to the morning and prepare to rest. It’s time.

It’s been a good day and I’m a thankful woman turning in for the night, à demain ….

Someone close to me lost someone close to her over the weekend.  Totally unexpected while on a trip ten years in the making.  In an instant a father, husband and best friend of 28 years, is gone and a wife is alone in the woods with her husband’s body, trying desperately to save him with CPR.  Two mornings later, 5:00 a.m., my daughter calls to say she’s at the airport, checked in and ready to fly to NYC for a fabulous six days with a special aunt!  And what does someone say to me?  Didn’t you hear about the terrorist threat in New York?  Sure I did.  I don’t go there, don’t allow myself to think that way.  Any one of us could be gone in an instant, like my friend’s loved one.  Do we stop living, stop traveling, cower in our homes against something “bad” happening?  No we don’t, we can’t.  What do we do?  We love with all our hearts, hold our loved ones close in our hearts, never hesitate to tell someone you love them and how precious they are to you.

Having survived a potentially terminal illness,  an abusive marriage and two brain surgeries and having my beloved daughters on opposite coasts, you learn to walk in faith and trust and to tuck those conversations and memories deep into your heart, to treasure them.  You don’t hang up the phone in anger and you always make a point of letting the other person know how much they mean to you, how special they are!

Because we’re afraid?  No way.  Because it’s important to speak the words.  My daughter in NYC for the next week, my older daughter in Seattle all the time, my brother and his family in the rolling hills of Kentucky, my loved ones within 40 miles, friends literally around the globe - all are special, all are precious - you’re loved and treasured and I’ll be making a point to let you know next time we talk, if I haven’t already.

Say the words and hold the memories, voices, smiles, tucked away close to your heart.  That would be the lesson to take  from my friend’s loss.  Don’t dwell; act and move forward with love and joy in your heart and spoken out of your mouth.

à bientôt …….